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This was a very special experience for me. I had rigged with Jake before in rope, but never in bondage. I brought a well-used cop's belt to him and said I wanted him to use that. He paused, walked to his room and then came back with an armload of belts and other leather items. He proceeded to put me in a leather harness, posture collar, belts all the way down to my toes, and eventually a microfoam gag and a blindfold. Helpless on the floor, he told me to struggle.
I realized how incredibly helpless I was, and that this man could do ANYTHING to me. I started to panic, and then I stopped myself and realized that I had chosen someone who would NEVER take advantage of my helplessness.
And in that moment trust in MYSELF was regained.
This was a deeply transformative day for me and a big part of my bondage journey.